Welcome to adulthood: it’s chaos. When life is moving at a million miles a minute it’s important to occasionally slow things down, take a breath, and learn to chill. But when you’re at home there are always chores to do: dishes to wash, floors to clean, and closets to open (with the intention of organizing but becoming overwhelmed, sobbing briefly, and then re-concealing your shame.)
What if there was a way of getting your life together in less than 5 minutes? What if there was a diamond in the rough among your assortment of floor-items that found their way into the linen closet? What if you learned to tackle one of life’s greatest mysteries: the fitted sheet.
We’re not using any diagrams here, so use your imagination.
Be Nice To Yourself
Step one is to take your fitted sheet out of the dryer. (Folding is optimal with a warm, freshly laundered sheet for obvious reasons (general joy)). If the sheet was already clean, do yourself a favor and throw it in the tumbler for a few minutes, or hit it with a hairdryer if in a pinch. This is self-care! Love yourself. Go the extra mile.
Shake It Off
Shake out your sheet to get rid of the static, wrinkles, and negative vibes. Get into it. Work out your back! Exorcise your demons!
Map It Out
Next, make sense of the thing either by laying it flat or by blindly scrounging around the mess of material.
Put It Down, Flip It And Reverse It
Flip the sheet inside out and find the short edge, then put your hands inside those two corners (the elastic side should be facing you).
If You’re Making Personal Progress, Clap Your Hands
Bring your hands together and fold one side over the other. Use your free hand to straighten the edges. (The sheet should now be right side out).
Rinse & Repeat
Find the other set of corners and set them up to mirror your other hand. Bring your hands together and again fold one side over the other so that all four corners are joined in holy matrimony. Use your free hand to drink a glass of water. Hydration break!
It’s Cool To Be Quadrilateral
Straighten out the edges again. The elastic side should naturally fold in towards the center of the sheet, leaving a straight-edged corner in its place. The sheet should now be much more rectangular and much less frightening. Not quite there? Take it back (a few steps) now, y’all.
Drop It Down Low
Lay your creation on the floor, or on a table if your floor is gross and mopping is not your priority (honestly… it’s understandable). Fold your sheet lengthwise in thirds, or in half for smaller bed sizes. Fold once more into a square.
You are now ready to succeed in life, personal and professional. Take yourself out somewhere nice and while you eat, mull over how you would fold a circular tablecloth.